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Skoombag-成为Skooma厨师

作者:Squidfest
发布:LUOHUISHU98
发布日期:2019-12-30 04:10:22
更新时间:2019-12-30 04:10:22
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1.2
上古卷轴5:重置版
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欢迎来到斯库巴,您退化了!(我爱你们所有人!)


您是否曾经生出过低俗的背刺角色,并以为“男人,谋杀和抢劫还不够!我知道!我基本上会煮出相当于水晶冰毒的Tamriel!”


您抓住了月糖,抓住了夜影,然后...


没有。斯库玛


妈的,贝塞斯达?我想在SKYRIM制造毒品!


“没有恐惧!”哭泣着一个黏糊糊的头足类动物,慢慢地扭动着它走向房间的前面。


“瞧,Skoombag!”


这是一个非常简单的mod,到目前为止,它充其量只是基本功能。基本上,Skoombag所做的只是允许您制作Skooma,Redwater Skooma,Double-Distilled Skooma和其他两个具有特殊效果的变体。就是这样


问:“但是,鱿鱼节,我去了炼金术站,混合了配料,什么都没发生!”


A:是的。炼金站被帝国大力管制,因此这些设备都无法生产斯科马。但是,他们忽略了Skyrim的烹饪站(因为认真地做,每个人都做。为什么要吃15轮奶酪时才能做一块牛排?)。


问:“等等,它说我将月糖和茄汁混合后才制成'未精制的司可马'。如何精制呢?”


A:很容易!如果您想要普通的老式Skooma,请添加更多的月糖。如果您要使用Redwater Skooma,请添加少量的吸血鬼灰尘。如果您要使用非常强大的Dragon Skooma,请添加Dragon Bone。如果您想要粗制,劣质的“基本为丙酮”原油Skooma,则可以混合月糖,冻伤毒液和Snowberry。如果您想要卖点薄弱的帝国友好型康复药“ Scume”,那就是三个白菜,两个韭菜和一个巨人的脚趾。如果您想要流鼻涕的,毒性最强的Nordic Skjuma(在Stormcloaks中很受欢迎),那就是强麦酒,未精制的Skooma和其他一些小食材。


如果您想要浓浓的司可马,那就是未精制的司可马+奶酪。


问:“这个mod是否会让Nazeem不再像混蛋?”


答:什么都不会使Nazeem不再是混蛋。但是,如果您对Skooma的看法很高,那么您可能根本不在乎。


问:“这是mod comp-”


答:可以。我什至不需要听到您要问的Mod。如果您的世界上仍然有食材和烹饪台,那么可以,此mod将起作用。而且,任何影响香草味的模型都可以使用,因为这只是一个秘方。


1.1版! -Nazeem仍然是a,但是...

我修复了“粗造的Skooma”效果,并添加了两个特定于派系的Skooma品种和Thin Skooma。


什么是厚实的ko瘤?


这是您最喜欢的麻醉品对乳制品的增强效果!现在加入额外的奶酪!


1.2版! -是的,我还活着!

好吧好吧!我敢打赌你们都以为您最喜欢的mod作家Squidfest已经死了。好吧,我很快进入了Fallout 4改装世界,然后立即收到来自某个乌克兰人的停顿并停止,我因对改装的把握不佳而感到不安。由于害怕“海盗海盗”的愤怒,我躲藏起来,完全忽略了制作mod,退回到了一个完全分开的社区,即魔兽世界。 *咳嗽*犯了错误。


但是现在,意识到这个mod(这是我最成功的BY BY FAR)自获得相当大的更新以来已经过去了很长的时间,所以我做到了!


这增加了三种新型的Skooma:Altmeri Skooma(适用于所有您在那里怀有高贵的Talos讨厌的势利小人),Dwemer Skooma(适用于所有您在那里拥有长途死亡的地下超智能精灵人)和Children's Skooma(适用于小孩子) ”在Skyrim周围兜兜转转,以吸引他们在很小的时候就摄入可卡因。


对于Altmeri Skooma,在未精制的Skooma中溶解一个月长石锭(不是矿石,这些是高级精灵,因此必须精制!),然后用月桂叶煮。那是什么?您没有月桂叶吗?为什么,这个令人垂涎的北欧渣cum省不了-*巴掌* OW!好吧,那么,只是前两个。


对于Dwemeri Skooma,这是一块Dwemer金属和正常的Skooma成分。马泽尔电视!


对于Children's Skooma,这是Children's Shoes(什么?别看着我,是Khajiits不断提出这些东西。我只是可怜的Dunmer,他不得不传达那些被N'wah宠爱的狗屎,吉普赛人不断煮饭),未精制的Skooma和水。


你怎么喝水?


鉴于Skyrim的人群似乎对非酒精饮料一无所知(我敢肯定Nords是用Honnigbrew Mead来浇灌农作物的),我不得不炮制我能找到的最接近的替代品。在烹饪台上,将一个桶与一瓶啤酒混合,然后通过模糊的凝结魔力,应该得到五瓶水。如果您不这样做,那么...那么这场比赛真是垃圾,托德·霍华德(Todd Howard)亲自讨厌我们每一个人。

1.3版! -我再次醒来!

没错,你们!鱿鱼节又回来了!最近,我对魔兽世界失去了爱意,因为他们将我的种族和派系扭曲成他们过去所代表的讽刺漫画,后来我辞职了。缺少MMO主播的人使我进入了《上古卷轴在线》,该承诺承诺了一套不太引人注目的故事情节决定,在光荣的战斗中杀死肮脏的Altmer的能力以及我顽固而顽固地宣誓永远不会放弃的“可选”订阅服务买进。在享受ESO的同时,我也因成为Dunmer Demigod而被新鲜的热情吸引回到了Skyrim,这会让那个机智的Vivec害怕地缠腰,而我认为离开你是不正确的,亲爱的朋友们,没有一些新的SKOOMA!


这些恶魔非常有害!


首先,我们有黑暗兄弟会Skooma:自杀就是坏蛋!这种纯净的小汤汁需要未精制的Skooma,Jarrin根和月糖。它不会恢复耐力;实际上,它只是他妈的杀死了你。那就对了!基本上是漂白剂!


但是,如果我想要缓慢而痛苦的死亡怎么办?不要害怕,因为我添加了Mortality Skooma:除了坟墓,别无他法!这不仅需要平均Jarrin根。疯狂的Elsweyr厨师将Skooma疯狂地用转基因食品的比喻构想出一种方法,可以增强Jarrin Root的天然致死特性,不仅可以溶解人的胃,还可以触发快速而不可阻挡的衰老过程,这被保证可以终结您的生命不到二十分钟的不断痛苦!模拟缓慢而不可避免的死亡,这是生于这个充满熵和恶意的世界的诅咒!为全家人带来乐趣!


可是等等。还有更多!如果您立即下载,我们将完全免费提供将Nirnroot变成Jarrin Root的功能!没错,现在有一种方法可以沉浸地将自然法则转变成一种新的可怕的混合物!为什么只毒害皇帝的双胞胎?使Jarrin根并使所有人中毒!

有任何想法/要求/问题吗?


让我知道!我很想扩大Skyrim人群可以享受的各种药物!


对于那些要求Oldrim版本的人:

我什至不知道如何使此Oldrim兼容,甚至需要做任何事情来做到这一点。这个mod实际上只是使用香草资产制作的配方和对象,因此它可能已经兼容。如果需要做一些模糊的手工操作,请给我详细说明一下,或者自己动手做,我将以我的商标讽刺来蒙福。出于某种原因,可以随意将其翻译,使用或以某种方式工作成该网站流行的一种令人讨厌的性爱模组。

——————————————————————————————————————

WELCOME TO SKOOMBAG, YOU DEGENERATES!(I love you all!)

Have you ever spawned in on your lowlife back-stabbing character and thought "man, murder and robbery just aren't enough! I know! I'll essentially cook the Tamriel equivalent of crystal meth!"

You grabbed your Moon Sugar, you grabbed your Nightshade, and...

NO. SKOOMA.

What the fuck, Bethesda? I WANT TO MAKE DRUGS IN SKYRIM!

"Have no fear!" cries a slimy cephalopod, slowly writhing its way to the front of the room.

"Behold, Skoombag!"

This is a very simple mod, and as of right now it has rudimentary features at best. Basically, all Skoombag does is allow you to craft Skooma, Redwater Skooma, Double-Distilled Skooma, and two other variants that have special effects. That's really it.

Q: "But, Squidfest, I went to the Alchemy Station, mixed the ingredients, and NOTHING HAPPENED!"

A: Well, yeah. Alchemy stations are HEAVILY REGULATED by the Imperials, and thus none of that equipment can produce Skooma. However, they overlooked the COOKING STATIONS (because seriously, everyone does. Why make a steak when you can eat 15 wheels of cheese?) of Skyrim.

Q: "Wait, it says I only made 'Unrefined Skooma' when I mixed Moon Sugar and Nightshade! How do I refine it?"

A: Very easily! Add more Moon Sugar if you want plain old Skooma. If you want Redwater Skooma, add a pinch of Vampire Dust. If you want the incredibly potent Dragon Skooma, add Dragon Bone. If you want the crude, poorly made, "basically-just-acetone" Crude Skooma, mix Moon Sugar, Frostbite Venom, and Snowberries. If you want the weak-as-shit Imperial-friendly rehab-drug "Scume", it's three cabbages, two leeks, and a giant's toe. If you want the runny, mostly-toxic Nordic Skjuma (very popular with Stormcloaks), it's ale, Unrefined Skooma, and some other small ingredients.

And if you want Thick Skooma, it's Unrefined Skooma + Cheese.

Q: "Will this mod make Nazeem less of a cunt?"

A: NOTHING will make Nazeem less of a cunt. However, if you're high off your tits on Skooma, you probably won't care.

Q: "Is this mod comp-"

A: Yes. I don't even need to hear what mod you're about to ask about. If there's ingredients and cooking stations still in your world, then yes, this mod will work. AND, any mods that effect the vanilla Skooma will work as well, as this is simply a recipe.

Version 1.1! - Nazeem is still a cunt, but...
I fixed the "Crude Skooma" effect, as well as adding two faction-specific Skooma varieties and Thick Skooma.

What is Thick Skooma?

It's the dairy-enhanced twist on your favorite narcotic! Now with extra cheese!

Version 1.2! - Yes, I'm alive!
Well well well! I bet you all thought your favorite mod author, Squidfest, was dead. Well, I took a brief foray into the world of Fallout 4 modding before I promptly received a cease and desist from some Ukrainian guy I somehow upset with my poor grasp of modding. Fearing the wrath of the Pantsuited Pirate, I went into hiding and ignored making mods altogether, retreating into the totally-not-divided community that is World of Warcraft. *Cough* Mistakes were made. 

But now, after realizing that it has been an inexcusably long time since this mod (which has been my most successful mod BY FAR) received its fair share of updates, and so I've done just that!

This adds THREE new types of Skooma: Altmeri Skooma (for all you highborn Talos-hating snobs out there), Dwemer Skooma (for all you long-dead underground super-intelligent elf-people out there), and Children's Skooma (for the lil' tykes around Skyrim to get hooked on what is essentially cocaine at a very young age).

For the Altmeri Skooma, dissolve one moonstone ingot (not ore, these are High Elves so it must be refined!) in Unrefined Skooma and cook with bay leaves. What's that? You don't have any bay leaves? Why, does this backwards province of mouth-breathing Nordic scum not have- *slap* OW! Okay, then, just the first two.

For Dwemeri Skooma, it's a piece of Dwemer metal and the normal Skooma ingredients. Mazel tov!

For Children's Skooma, it's Children's Shoes (what? Don't look at me, it's the Khajiits who keep coming up with this stuff. I'm just the poor Dunmer who has to relay the fucked-up shit those N'wah cat-gypsies keep cooking up), Unrefined Skooma, and Water.

How do you make water?

Seeing as the population of Skyrim seems to have no understanding of non-alcoholic beverages (I'm certain the Nords water their crops with Honnigbrew Mead), I've had to make do with concocting the closest substitute I can find. At a Cooking Station, mix one Bucket with one Ale and through the vague magic of condensation,  you should get five bottles of water. If you don't, well... then this game is garbage and Todd Howard personally hates every last one of us.

Version 1.3! - Once again I awaken!
That's RIGHT you guys! Squidfest is back in the business! Recently I fell out of love with World of Warcraft as they twisted my race and faction into a vituperative caricature of what they used to represent and I subsequently quit. This lack of an MMO anchor led me to The Elder Scrolls Online, which promised a less egregious set of storyline decisions, the ability to kill dirty Altmer in glorious combat, and an "optional" subscription service that I have stubbornly and obtusely sworn to never buy into. As I was enjoying ESO, I was pulled also back into Skyrim with fresh zeal for being a Dunmer Demigod that would make that s'wit Vivec shit his loincloth in fear, and I didn't think it'd be right to leave you, my dear friends, without some new SKOOMA!

These skoomas are incredibly harmful!

First, we have Dark Brotherhood Skooma: Suicide is Badass! This neat little concoction requires Unrefined Skooma, Jarrin Root, and Moon Sugar. It does not restore stamina; in fact, it just fucking kills you. That's right! It's basically a bleach potion!

But what if I want a slow, painful death? Fear not, for I have added Mortality Skooma: There is no escape but the grave! This requires more than an AVERAGE Jarrin Root. Using a vague metaphor for GMO food, the mad Skooma cooks of Elsweyr have concocted a way to enhance the naturally lethal properties of Jarrin Root to not simply dissolve one's stomach but to trigger a rapid and unstoppable aging process that is GUARANTEED to end your life in less than twenty minutes of ceaseless agony! Simulate the slow and inevitable death that is the curse of being born into this world of entropy and spite! Fun for the whole family!

BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE! If you download RIGHT NOW, we'll throw in the ability to turn Nirnroot into Jarrin Root, ABSOLUTELY FREE! That's right, now there's a way to immersively pervert the laws of nature into a new and terrible concoction! Why only poison the Emperor's double? Make Jarrin Root and poison EVERYONE!
Have any ideas/requests/questions?

Let me know! I'd love to expand the wide range of drugs Skyrim's population can enjoy!

For those of you asking for an Oldrim Version:
I have no idea how to make this Oldrim compatible, if anything even needs to be done to do so. This mod is literally just recipes and objects made using Vanilla assets, so it's likely already compatible. If there's some vague hand-wavy process that needs to be done to make it so, please detail it to me or do it yourself and I will graciously bless it with my trademark sarcasm. Feel free to translate, use, or somehow work into one of the disturbingly-prevalent sex mods this site swells with for some reason.

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1.版本号: 1.2   更新时间: 2019-12-30 04:12:22

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