你知道《天际》有点烂吗？当您达到很高的水平时，所有的武器和盔甲看起来都是荒谬的，浮华的或浮华的和荒谬的。就像他们被生气的戴德里克亲王（Daedric Prince）拒之门外。龙骨和龙鳞盔甲？标志性但丑陋。戴德里克盔甲？您看起来像是一个有着鸟头的狂野狩猎骑士。玻璃装甲？太浮华了-再加上Thalmor戴上。每个人都讨厌Thalmor。乌木盔甲？我不想看起来像胖胖的达斯·维达（Darth Vader）。矮人的盔甲还没那么高，但是我忍不住要拉它。看看它多么笨拙。
OG Skyrim Version
You know what kinda sucks about Skyrim? When you get to really high levels, all the weapons and armor look either ridiculous, flashy, or flashy and ridiculous. It's like they were shat out by an angry Daedric Prince. Dragonbone and Dragonscale armor? Iconic, but ugly. Daedric Armor? You look like a Wild Hunt rider with a bird's head. Glass Armor? Way too flashy - plus, the Thalmor wear it. Everyone hates the Thalmor. Ebony Armor? I don't want to look like fat Darth Vader. Dwarven armor isn't that high up, but I can't help but shit on it. Look at how damned bulky it is.
So I decided that it was time for me to learn to retexture items. I took the most lean, high-speed, low-drag armor in the game - steel armor, and made some new armors with it.
Chainmail Armor is a light armor, primarily made of steel. The chainmail is held in place by an iron frame, and only covers certain parts of the wearer, leaving the rest covered by fur and leather. It can be crafted with the "advanced armors" perk and has the same stats as scale armor.
Ebony Chainmail Armor is similar to its steel counterpart, only it's made of ebony and has a steel frame. It can be crafted with the "ebony smithing" perk and has the same stats as dragonscale armor.
Scale and Chainmail Armor is the heavy armor counterpart of regular chainmail - the parts that are covered by chainmail are now covered by scales, and the fur has been replaced with chainmail. It requires "advanced armors" to craft and has the same stats as steelplate armor.
Ebony Scale Armor is similarly the heavy armor counterpart of ebony chainmail. It requires the "dragon armor" perk to craft and has the same stats as dragonplate armor.
Q: Why does Ebony Scale Armor require the perk for Dragon Armor instead of the perk for ebony?
A: Because the Dragon Armor perk would be useless - you could make equally effective armor with just the ebony smithing perk.
Q: Why are the helmets invisible?
A: So you can see your character's beautiful face. If anyone wants me to, I'll make a version with visible helmets.
Q: Hey! I like the look of [Armor that was shat on in the first paragraph]!
A: I don't care. They all look like magic bullshit. I don't like magic bullshit. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to gear. I prefer guns to energy weapons and good steel (or ebony) to magic. Power Armor is also dumb. Completely fucks up stealth.
Q: Also, I like the Thalmor. I support them in their campaign to get rid of heresy.
A: No you don't. No one does. No one actually asks these questions, I just come up with them off the top of my head when I'm writing the description.
Q: Dude, the Empire clearly likes the Thalmor. They suck Thalmor cock, which is why I support Ulfric and his campaign to masturbate in the Blue Palace.
A: I've sided with the Empire every time I've played Skyrim. I've also killed every Thalmor I've ever come across. Ever. Fucking hate those guys. We need a united Empire - Skyrim, Cyrodiil, High Rock, and Hammerfell - to take them down. Yes, I know Nords have really big weapons, are stronger than most races, and love fighting, but that's just not enough to take down both the Thalmor's magical and combat capabilities.
Q: Are you worried about starting a TES political debate?
A: I've heard plenty, been in plenty. Can't stand them, but at the end of the day, we all kill Thalmor. It's what brings all Skyrim players together.
Q: You just released a mod 2 days ago...
A: Every mod I make is an apology for the brashness of the last one's description. That's why I keep making them.
Q: Yeah, but... doesn't it take a while to make mods? Are you on crack or something?
A: It does, but I haven't played Skyrim in 1.5 years. Coming back pretty much feels like this, even on Legendary difficulty.
Q: Can you make X armor?
A: You can get XXX armor pretty much anywhere on the Nexus.
Q: No, I mean X as in a variable. I'm requesting something like what's already in this mod.
A: Let me put it like this: When it comes to retextures, I'll take ideas, but not requests. If you request something and I don't want to make it, I won't. If you have a decent idea, I'll make it. Other mods, I'll make pretty much anything that I'm capable of, to be honest.
Q: Oh shit, does that mean you'll make [mod request that doesn't involve 3rd party programs]?
A: Do you just have to take advantage of this here and now? Now I'm probably gonna stop taking requests.
Q: Will you release this for SSE?
A: Probably not. Unless I find out that it's super easy to port mods to SSE. Or I find out that Lydia has a personality in SSE. In that case, I'd play the shit out of SSE.
Q: Why are you so concerned with Lydia not having a personality?
A: Why aren't you? You spend a lot of time travelling with her and she's easy on the eyes, but has no depth, nuance, or any character traits.
Q: I can still read something if you cross it out. You're disgusting.
A: 90% of the nexus is either erotic content, companions that you know the mod author got off to at least once, or non-erotic mods with semi-erotic content in the screenshots, and yet you call me disgusting?
Q: I've read your other FAQs and descriptions and can say with certainty that you are a sick, sadistic, brash sonofabitch.
A: Sounds about right. Honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you decided not to download my mods because you hate me.
Q: And don't act like you've never released a slutty mod. I've seen "Paint me Like One of your French Veterans."
A: That didn't have a half-naked woman in the screenshots, it had a half-naked ripped guy. Completely different when its a man.
Q: Shut up, I wouldn't say that question. Your just trying to advertise your Fallout 4 mods.
A: Speaking of which, you should also try "Diamond City Guards Flirt with Both Genders"!
Q: I hate you. You're literally the biggest asshole on the planet. Everything you say is super offensive, and I hope that you get buttfucked by the devil in hell.
A: Based on what you've read in this FAQ so far, do you honestly think I'd take offense to that?
If it's not apparent, all my FAQs and mod descriptions are written for the sake of humor.
If one of them offends you, I'm sorry.
I'm also sorry to say that you, and you alone taking offense from it will not give me cause to change the description.
My other mods which you should totally get because your Bethesda experience won't be as good without them.